Hate Food, Lose Weight

Katy and I started the South Beach Diet on January 12. I've been making an effort to work out at least every other day since then. So far, over a week and a half, I've lost 4.5 pounds. So that's progress.

But I have this inkling, this sort of tickle that arises from the junction of my meager education in physics, biology, and nutrition, and it tells me that I'm being hoodwinked by this diet. My intuition, aided by whatever foundations I have in science, tells me that the weight loss/weight gain inequality is actually much simpler than all this. I'm internally convinced that the rule of weight loss is that you lose weight when, over an extended period of time, your daily caloric output (metabolism plus exercise) exceeds your daily caloric intake, and it makes no difference where the calories come from.

Stirling, is this right? I mean, I know the diet is working, because I've been steadily losing weight. But I'm beginning to wonder if the particular way that this diet moderates my caloric intake is by making sure that there is nothing in my apartment that I would actually enjoy eating. I haven't had a Coke, or a potato chip, or a cookie, or a cracker in a week and a half. When I go to Subway for lunch at work, I have to get a salad instead of a six-inch sub because the bread has too many carbs. The only things I own are vegetables. And if I have to eat one more spoonful of ricotta cheese mixed with Sweet n' Low, I'm going to go completely apeshit. It is amazing how much variety your life seems to lose when you no longer have free reign over what you eat.

There are some upsides. For instance, I'm learning to cook things. I poached a salmon last night, and even though it didn't come out particularly tasty, it was still an accomplishment. And I can make a killer ham and mushroom omelet now. Breakfast has actually become my favorite meal of the day because the diet doesn't modify a typical breakfast menu very much—except that I would like to be able to have a slice of toast with my omelet, or a Pop Tart if I'm in a hurry.

Admittedly, I'm only in "Phase I" of the diet, which is the most draconian of the three phases. Starting next week, I'll be able to eat whole grain breads at lunchtime, and oatmeal for breakfast. But I don't think I'm supposed to have potatos again for the rest of my life. Seriously, Stirling, does carb-counting make sense, or does this diet only work because it makes me loathe the foods I eat?