Still Here!: Brief WWE/Chick Musings

Yeah, this post purely exists because October 8th was almost a month ago. I hope to get back to "full" posts soon, but, for now, I'll mention one thing that has bothered me since I read it a couple hours ago.

The WWE is in a poor state of affairs right now and it's entirely of their own doing. The details and such I'll go into in a future post, but let me give you a quick insight.

The booking of WWE is now heavily slanted towards Twitter, specifically to "trend" as many times as possible within a single 2 hr program. That concept, and the long-term ramifications of such, are bad enough. But I just read that Vince McMahon and his underlings were pissed that they failed to get any trending on Monday's episode of RAW.

Nevermind the crap quality of the product, which was actually GREAT just last June/July ("Summer of Punk"), but then was overbooked into an unfocused mess that it currently sits in. Nevermind that Monday Night RAW's attendance was so bad even TNA had them beat the last time they were in town. Nevermind PPV buys are dangerously low. Nevermind that, with all this, Vince McMahon borrowed over $250 million against the company, a move never before done not even when he nearly went "out of business" back in 1997, to fund the upcoming WWE Network channel.

It's a scary time for a wrestling fan. Or, should I say, a wrestling fan who actually gives a damn about the business-side of the industry, the current state of the industry as a whole, and its long-term viability.

On the plus side, yeah things are still going with this chick. ..err...lady! Going very well. We managed 4 consecutive dates last Thursday thru Sunday. In fact, we've got a 3 day camping trip planned for her B-Day 2 weekends from now. I've never been camping and the prospects of getting eaten by a bear don't sound very sexy, but, hey, the things we do, right?

[Up]Date Night

For those interested in my love/date life, things are still happening. Date #2 happened last Friday. It was bowling at Don Carters. She was on the bowling team at Runnels, but hadn't bowled since (6 years). Though rusty, she still handily gave me the ass-whip. I won the contest for slowest and fastest thrown bowling ball though. Under 4 mph and over 16 mph.

The bowling lasted all of one hour, we then spent the next 9 hours talking. Talking! For 9 straight hours! Tommy don't even understand. We left when the fog started to roll in and rave bowling was about to bust out (strobe gives her headaches).

Leaving, we arranged another date for The 13th Gate the next night and food afterwards, but she had to call it off later. That left my Saturday night open for Real Steel and post-LSU game Taco Bell with Tommy.

Back to the girl, date #3 has just been arranged for Saturday. Officially, it's only the 3rd date, but, damn, does it seem like we're been doing this for longer than that. Must be the marathon date sessions. Assuming this goes well, I've got a great idea for a future date (date #4?) that should earn me major "Shine Gets". Details on that later.

So how's it going? Pretty good. Considering my usual [bad] luck, I'm kinda shocked at how easy its been going. I like her. I feel comfortable around her, or as much as one can feel comfortable on a date. I "click" more with her than any girl before. I'm pretty sure she digs me as well.

Oh and every movie I've happen to bring up so far she had seen. All the superhero movies (she's looking forward to the Avengers, but not Batman 3 so much, she loved Captain America). Conan. Rise of the Planet of the Apes (she didn't like it). The Rocketeer! Various Disney movies. Even The Hills Have Eyes. And The Wicker Man!

Next time we meet up, I'm gonna have to pop the big question: You some kind of nerd?!

Hell, she's seen Ghost Rider.......and she wants to see Ghost Rider II!!!! I own the collected edition of the Batman vs Predator comic, but even I got my limits!

P.S. The first Batman vs Predator comic was actually really good. DC/WB need to jump on that jeep and ride.

Date Night....With The Stir-Man!

Who has two thumbs and had a date Saturday night? This Guy!

Just when I'm about to write off OKC as being a waste of what little time I already gave it, I gave it one last check and stumble upon someone with an interest in Game of Thrones. Read the book a long time ago, watched the HBO show, re-read the book, and then continued through the series to book 4 or 5.

So, what the hell, I send a Game of Thrones-related email. "Response Get!" We exchange a few more mails and I take the real first step, asking if she wanted to go out. She agrees, calling it a "date" herself. "Date Get!"

So we went out last night. Met up at Perkins Rowe for 6 and when to Kona Grill. We didn't leave Kona Grill till almost 11! She didn't finish her chicken salad. I didn't finish my turkey burger (which is a shame). We spent the entire time talking. Cuba (she's half cuban), our jobs, white people wearing Che shirts, photography, health, Disney, movies, family, etc. It seems kinda crazy to sit in a restaurant for that long, but Kona Grill never offered the check, nor hinted at needing us to leave, and neither her nor I made a play for the door.

We just kept talking. By the time we exited, Lion King 3D wasn't a possibility anymore. B&N was closing. So I walked her to her car. Gave her a hug, cause I gets mine! (also, I'm not a first date-kisser, sorry, ladies), and asked if I could give her a call. She responded in the positive.

Driving home, not 10 minutes later, I get a text. I figure it's from Tommy, who was at an asian wedding in New Orleans. Nope. It's her. She thanked me for dinner and said she had a great time. This caught me off guard as I'm not use to women openly being informative with their interest, much less right after the first date. I replied that I had a great time too and look forward to doing it again. She txt'd me back with a "Me too".

It was probably the best first-date I've ever been on and I was surprised by just how simple the affair was. Sitting at a table for 5 hours talking. She's cute, has a passion for her interests/job, educated, plus more! I waked into the date with zero expectations beyond a potentially interesting night and walked away......liking her.

I'll give her a call tomorrow in my break between classes and setup a second date for later in the week. She use to bowl, so I was thinking of that. I had other ideas of zoo, the 13th Gate, biking (she mountain bikes), but I think I'll save those for future dates should we move past the 2nd one. Outside of bowling, any ideas?

Fright Fest 2011: Writing Hurdle

Up till now, it's been smooth sailing. The writing is done for The Fog, Christine, and The Thing. The Fog has already been formatted, for Facebook's pleasure, and only awaits Saturday to be published. Last week, I watched Prince of Darkness. This is the first of two Carpenter movies I'm gonna cover, yet have never seen before. My hurdle started earlier today when I restarted the movie and took fingers to keyboard to type out a draft.

The format of my writeups are recap the movie as I watch it. Following that is the review section. Nothing crazy deep. Just what I like, don't like, improvements, etc. The first three writeups came in around 5 pages. The Prince of Darkness note is currently at 5 pages and I've only covered the first 40 minutes of the movie! Being a new movie to me, I suppose I find myself commenting more on some of the little things.

Anyway, I stopped myself at the 40 minute mark because I didn't like what I was writing by that point. I'll have to re-read it later, but it felt as if I was antagonizing the movie. Having watched the movie, I certainly think it deserves a little tough love, but that's for the review section. For the movie viewer summary part, I just want the reader to follow along with me as I experience this movie. Good. Bad. Crazy. Goofy. Whatever. No thoughts beyond seeing what's around the next corner and having a little fun while doing it.

For Prince of Darkness, once developments started to get revealed, I began to butt heads with the movie. Or at least, again, it felt that way. Evil being legitimized with science is the main focus of the movie. In fact, it's the main motivation for all the characters in the movie aside from not getting dead. So when the movie starts to push some hokey ideas, it's hard, as a reasonable-educated adult, to not call out the shit. Worse is when the movie begins to contradict itself with its own revealed facts. Numbers stated earlier don't match match number or statements presented later. And no character acknowledges the change. The various changing facts can make the movie hard to follow. Hell, even now, I'm not sure I understand fully what's going on.

Thinking back, I don't believe I'll have to scrap the whole note. Just some of the parts close to where I stopped when the "evil grounded in science" starts to get explained. The challenge is keeping the fun tone of the note going when the movie dips into "kinda dumb" territory.

I'll let this movie rest a bit. Got a date Saturday, so I'll try again Sunday before heading off to watch the Hell in a Cell PPV at BWW with Tommy.

A Long-Delayed Reaction to 2001: A Space Odyssey

Stirling,

Because you're such a big movie buff, I always assume that if I see a classic movie, you've seen it before as well. I'm particularly hoping that that's the case with respect to 2001: A Space Odyssey, which Katy and I watched this afternoon for the first time. I'm hoping you can give me some guidance as to what I should be thinking about this film. I came to the movie shockingly unspoilt—other than knowing that there would be monkeys, monoliths, and a computer saying, "I'm sorry, Dave—I'm afraid I can't do that," I had no preconceptions. Here's what I got out of it.

The movie is divided into four essentially self-contained episodes. First, we see prehistoric apes discovering a monolith, which does something—it's not clear what—after which they discover tools, weapons, and warfare. Second, we see a sequence in which we learn that modern, space-faring humans have discovered a similar monolith on the moon, which does something—it's not clear what. Third is the most pop-culturally familiar sequence, in which an astronaut named Dave, in the midst of a mission to Jupiter, faces off against a homicidal artificial intelligence, HAL9000, his ship's onboard computer. Fourth and finally comes a sequence, by turns psychedelic and then just avant-garde, in which Dave reaches Jupiter, discovers another monolith in its orbit, hallucinates (?) for a while, and then finds himself in what appears to be Versailles, except with fluorescent lights for floors, for—I'm guessing here—basically eternity, after which, another monolith does something—it's not clear what—involving Dave being reincarnated as a galactic fetus.

The plot is sort of hazy to me, as you can probably tell. Luckily, I get the feeling that the plot isn't really at the center of the film. The points of connection, in terms of plot, between any of the four episodes are pretty limited. There's no plot point in common between the ape-episode and any of the later ones, unless you count the bare fact that monoliths figure heavily in all of them. The moon- and Jupiter-episodes are connected, we learn fairly late, by the fact that Dave's mission to Jupiter was motivated by the discovery of the moon-monolith. And the only plot connection between the psychedelic episode and the rest of the film is that Dave is present. To put it simply, these aren't chapters in a book—they're short stories in an anthology. Rather than being plot-driven, the important connections between episodes are thematic—themes of humanity, intelligence, and technology are present throughout, as are those pesky monoliths.

But even as I get this, I have to admit that I don't have a clue what's being said about humanity and intelligence and technology and monoliths. Worse yet, I'm not even sure I've identified the relevant questions that I'm intended to take away. In the end, the plot is so loose, and the symbology so underspecified, that I feel I'm just flailing around in the dark. Still, I have to pose the following questions:

1. Are the monoliths alien artifacts, as most of the characters seem to suppose? Or are they naturally occurring objects, somehow (spiritually? metaphysically?) connected to the origin of the universe (and its rebirth)?
2. What are the monoliths doing? What exactly happens to the apes who come into contact with the monolith, that wouldn't have happened to them otherwise? (I mean, is it completely clear that tool-use and warfare are direct effects of the monolith? Are the tool-using apes even the same apes who encountered the monolith, or are they their distant descendants?) What happens to the folks on the moon as they gather around the monolith for a photograph? We're never told. What is happening to Dave when he encounters the monolith in Jupiter's orbit? (This question could be answered either literally or figuratively—it just needs to be answered). What is happening to Dave when he encounters the monolith on his deathdbed? (Ditto).
3. Is HAL malfunctioning? I find it somewhat more terrifying to imagine that he's in perfect working order.
4. If HAL is malfunctioning, what is the cause of his malfunction? "Human error," HAL's own diagnosis, seems too trite an answer for this film. All of the other episodes, besides the one in which HAL appears, deal with matters of cosmic significance. To me, there's something absurd about allowing the HAL-episode—the film's indisputable (right?) centerpice—to be contingent upon a programming error by some unknown codemonkey back on earth. Could the malfunction be monolith-related? I ask this in part because the HAL-episode is the only episode in which no monolith appears. That is, the monoliths are conspicuous by their absence from the HAL-episode. But, from a plot standpoint, how would it be possible for a monolith to cause the malfunction?
5. Is HAL a conscious being? Does he have real emotions? Even though the movie explicitly poses these questions, they're never answered, nor, upon reflection, do they seem particularly important thematically. Is the whole issue a total red herring?
6. How literally is the final episode supposed to be taken? Completely literal? Are some parts of it just Dave's hallucinations, and if so, which parts? Or, by the final scene, are we being presented with something that is not the literal experience of any conscious being? For me, I suspected that by the end, we'd traveled even farther beyond the confines of plot than we were before, such that I was no longer even being told a story. Instead, it seemed to me that the movie was just saying things with images. But I don't know what it was saying.

That final sequence, in luminescent, green Versailles, was at the very least a striking bit of film-making. There's something terrifying about it. I remember, beside me on the couch, Katy saying at one point, "Oh, God, he's turning around. He's gonna see Dave. Wait. Where's Dave? Oh no, that's Dave, isn't it?" The mindfuckery of it is off the charts.

And the long minutes without dialogue. For ten, twenty, thirty minutes at a time, you'll hear nothing but apes caterwauling, or classical music as space vessels spin, or an astronaut's deep breathing as he's out for a spacewalk, or unintelligible human voices rising to a crescendo, in what seems for a long time to be hell, and still, at the end of the film, might be. There's emotional intensity to go around.

And then there's just the technological aspects. The fact that Stanley Kubrick, in the late 1960's, built a bunch of giant hamster-wheels so that he could give the audience a realistic look at how weightlessness and artificial gravity would look. Impressive stuff.

But here's what really got me in the end. To me, it seems that if this movie had been made ten years ago, we wouldn't be talking about it today—it would have been forgotten by now. It wouldn't be a sci-fi classic, remembered fondly by the former adolescents of the 60's and 70's—instead it would have been ghetto-ised as an art house film, so that most people would never have seen it or even heard of it. You'd never be able to assume it as a part of the pop cultural vernacular. What strikes me as most hopeful is that there was ever a time when a large number of Americans would have wanted to be as intellectually and aesthetically challenged by a film as they must have wanted to be in 1968, to have made 2001 such a cultural touchstone.

Roughies: Fright Fest 2011

October is fast approaching and, with that, another annual month of horror movies to watch and "note" about. Last year was all the Exorcist movies (including the alternate cut of the prequel). I did something the October before that, but I can't remember.

Though I got through all the Exorcist movies watched and wrote (only lapped 3 days into November, I believe), I learned some lessons from the experience. That writing about movies you like can be hard in the sense of fairness (The Exorcist). That bad movies, really bad movies, can nearly kill your desire to continue forth on your proposed journey (Exorcist II: The Heretic). That, if you can take a leap of faith, you may discover a lost treasure and revive your passion (Exorcist III). That watching and writing about, in essence, the same movie twice, though immensely interesting, can be......a bit of a drag.

The biggest issue, though, was time. I had 5 Exorcist movies. October has 4 weeks. I had to watch the movie. Then write about it, which could take hours for a single note (The Exorcist II note took forever). Some editing. Pics. Rinse and repeat 4 more times.

The Horror-movie-a-thon is back, but I decided to go about it differently. First, I'm starting early and not flying by the seat of my pants. I've already settled on a set of movies, which was harder than I imagined due to several options I drew up. The first movie is done as far as getting most of the content down on paper/MS Word. I watched the movie. Then I rewatched it while simultaneously typing my write-up. Aside from a few pauses here and there to finish typing my thoughts/commentary on any given scene, I finished when the movie finished. The conclude with thoughts on the movie as a whole.

So far, it seems more efficient. Watching the movie, a second time, as I type helps me remember more of the movie's ongoings. This provides a longer note / more commentary (the first movie's draft is a single sentence shy of 5 pages!), but it should be good. Or, I should say, I hope it's good.

I plan to watch/write up another movie or two before heading back and finalizing the first movie's review.

Stay Tuned.

Gaming Music: Metallica, AC/DC, & Van Halen

Before now, music games only scratched the surface of rock. Free Bird? War Pigs? Monkey Wrench?! That's stuff for some high school talent show. Now's the time to go balls-deep into rock! With band-centric music games! Welcome to 2008!

I popped in Guitar Hero: Metallica first. Logos. Logos. Logos. Usual menu options: Quick play, Practise, Options. I go for Career. Shit gets real off the bat with Metallica entering their venue and *dramatic pause* YOU ARE METALLICA! And you open it up with "For Whom The Bell Tolls". Assuming you don't suck, you then get to encore "The Unforgiven".

You/Metallica, Rock! Inspiring a boy (also you) in the crowd to start up a band. This brings you to your character. You can choose among Guitar Hero's standard roster of cartoon rockers. I usually go with Izzy Sparks for his David Lee Roth-ness. But! Now there's a Create-A-Rocker option. Ok. Let's check that out.

Boy, are there a lot of options. Past the opening Male/Female selection. You can pick your music style. Punk. Rock. Heavy Metal. Goth. Classic (seemingly late 60's, early 70's rock). Etc. I go with classic. From there, you can edit body size, shape, and color. Clothes (shirts, pants, shoes, hats, etc.). Tats. Band name. Band logo. Edit instruments (guitar, bass, drums, mic). Plus more! Again, there's a lot of options. I spend waay more time on it than I expected. Maybe even wanted, due to the numerous loading screen and the game chugging to loading the various scrolling items.

Once I rebrand my Guitar Hero mainstay band, Sexual Misconduct, into a Metallica cover band and create The Stir-Man, complete with bald head, country beard, hoodie and track pants, it was time to hit the road (in our Mystery, Inc. Van labeled " 'Tallica, Jr.") to a Metallica live event and audition for the "opening act" slot. We win the slot and an opposing glam, 80's, hair-metal band look pissed. I guessing they're the bad guys here.

At this first venue, there are no Metallica songs to cover. So, first, I chose Alice in Chains' "No Excuses". Second, I go for Lynyrd Skynyrd's "Tuesday's Gone". Not sure why, but playing the song felt "special". Kinda like I wasn't playing it but experiencing it. Fitting since I'm led to believe that the song holds a special place in James' heart.

I back out and check out the extras. Under videos, there's a lot of backstage/concert stuff. In the gallery, there's pictures of old posters, tickets, patches. I'm talking old. One is a flyer for a concert with Metallica, Twisted Sister, and a third band that has slipped my mind. This stuff is really cool for any fan of Metallica. I just wish you could zoom in on the flyers/tickets/etc. so you can actually read some of the smaller print or just get a better overall look at them.

Oh, there's also an option to listen to various songs while info tidbits pop up. I did this for Tuesday's Gone. Some interesting stuff. Background on Lyn Skyn. Their influence on Metallica. Well worth reading. But then it ends by stating that Lyn Skyn's Free Bird ended Guitar Hero II. Kinda out of nowhere. And not near as important/interesting as the rest.

I decided to check out AC/DC Live! next. I've never played Rock Band before, so I was looking forward to seeing how the original Guitar Hero devs "improved" on their GH formula. Usual menu options. I notice a "Calibration" option. Never having done a calibration, I check it out. You strum to visual and audio cues to help set a proper lag between video, music, and strum-ness.

Back in the menu, I skip career (not wanting to spend so much time with create-a-band/character, if that's what happens) and go straight to "Quick Play". I head directly to "Hell's Bells" like a parent dragging their kid to the Indiana Jones ride at a Disneyland opening. And...

And.....

And....I fail. Hard. I don't know what the fuck just happened. I couldn't hit shit. I even saw the notes coming. And I still couldn't hit them. I give "Jailbreak" a try. Though I fare better, and finish the song, it was still pretty bad. Did I fuck myself over with the calibration? Is it that the notes are thin rectangles, and not GH's round circles, giving less room for error/timing?

I had planned to stop there, but my failure pushed me to pop in Guitar Hero: Van Halen. To see if I fared better back under the GH style. I go to "Quick Play" and chose "Ain't Talkin' Bout Love". My favorite Van Halen song. Very familiar with it. And I start off fucking it up! Why? Due to a difference I didn't even notice between Guitar Hero and Rock Band. Not the note shapes, but in how the notes scroll on-screen. In GH, the notes scroll in from back of the screen to front. In Rock Band, they go from top to bottom.

I didn't realize this going from GH: Metallica to RB: AC/DC, but, back in GH's world with Van Halen, it was fucking up my song. Now realized. I make whatever needed mental adjustments and BAM! I'm rocking out to Van Halen. Telling bitches, "I got what you need".

Next is the so damn cheesy yet so damn fun "Jump". Then "Runnin' with the Devil". Playing these songs, it makes me think of just why I like Van Halen. I think it might be because they're rocking out, yet seemingly light-hearted about doing it (as oppose to Metallica's more heavy-handed-ness). Almost a sort of parody of 70's/80's rock but with good songs backing it up. Kinda feel the same way about Foo Fighters for their era.

Of course, there are various songs from secondary bands. Queen. Foo Fighters. Even Billy Idol's White Wedding (which I look forward to playing). But then there's a speed bump. The Offspring's "Pretty Fly (For a White Guy"). Strumming through the songs and hearing that damn song kick in.....I let out a sigh. It doesn't fit. Kinda ruins the vib of the game.

Compared to that of Metallica's, the extras disappoint with no vids or gallery to be found. Just lyrics and a "Van Halen Soundboard". I'm missing the point of this soundboard. Press two differing colors in differing order and 3 second long guitar solo plays. I felt lost in this "extra".

From my quick experience with GH: VH, it certainly feels like less of a game directed by a band for their fans as GH: Metallica does. GH: VH feels decidedly "hands-off" in Van Halen-ness. But it's got Van Halen songs you can Guitar Hero to, which, I suppose, is all one would want from a game such as this, but, damn, if the game just feels lacking in the frills and whistles extras of the Metallica version.

How bout that last sentence, eh?

Get 'Dem Deals!: Toys'R'Us Moving Sale

So Toys R Us is moving. Sources say to the Tinseltown area. Seems like a bad idea, but, hey, SALES! 60% OFF!*

*up to

I don't know how long the sale has been going on, but there wasn't much goods[tuff] to be had. I doubt there were many to begin with. But I did find some goodies.


Guitar Hero: Van Halen ($6)
Guitar Hero: Metallica ($2.40)
Guitar Hero Encore: Rocks the 80s ($5.99)
AC/DC Live!: Rock Band Track Pack ($4.73)

Though I moved on from the Guitar Hero craze of several years ago, I did pick it back up earlier this summer and picked (ha!) my way through Guitar Heros 1-3 (Freya is my best song). Nice find to pick up Metallica, Val Halan, and AC/DC on the cheap. Not sure how a music game comprised mainly of a single band, but, hey!, it's Metallica, Val Halan, and AC/DC. And it's cheap!

My only other concern is that AC/DC Live! is a Rock Band game. My guitar is Guitar Hero-based. I know there shouldn't be a problem. The game box tells me there shouldn't be a problem. I just remember Activision making a hissy fit about the issue. Whatever the case, I'll have a pretty sweet box cover.

While walking towards the register, I happened to notice a very small dump pile of DVDs. Hey, why not, right? Browse. Browse. CBS. Browse. Browse. Couple discoveries.

Batman/Superman: Apocalypse ($6.49)
Star Trek: Nemesis ($2.49)

All in all, a pretty good catch. Checking out, I got a little bothered by the lady ringing me up making it very clear that there would be no refunds. Over and over again. Back in the car, I quickly removed the security plastic/stickers for Star Trek: Nemesis. There was a DVD inside. Screwjob averted!

George Lucas Has *Officially* Gone Insane!: More Star Wars Changes for Blu-Ray

So we've known that Lucas has been going downhill since the Special Edition releases of the original Star Wars movies back in 1997. A lot of unnecessary shit thrown into the background of many scenes to make them seem more "alive" when really it just makes it look "busy". A butt-load of awful CGI. Like SyFy channel worthy "Python vs Anaconda vs Dino-Gator" bad.

Remember Jabba in A New Hope? No? Try now.

Earlier in the year, Star Wars was revealed to be heading to Blu-Ray, original three as well as the newer ones. For Episodes 4-6, I'm pretty sure everyone expected the Special Editions. Lucas has a hard-on for his "improved" versions. You know what? Fine. But, considering the mass storage space of your standard Blu-Ray, it was also assumed the the original versions would be included as well.

You know what happens when one "assumes", right?

About a week ago, leaks of the Blu-Rays showed up online. With it came two disturbing revelations. First, the original versions are NOT on the Blu-Rays. It's Special Edition only. Ok. I don't like it, but OK. Chances are they'll release the original versions in a couple years or so for mo' money like they did with the DVDs. Though my biggest problem with this is that LucasFilm will claim up and down that the Special Editions are Lucas' view of the original films (surely!) and as such the original originals will never be released (bullshit!). Then once they've scared everyone into buying the Special Editions and sales have died down, they'll release the actual real original versions due to "fan demand".

The second revelation? Lucas is making even MORE CHANGES to Star Wars. The 90's Special Editions were what he always intended Star Wars to be. Then changes again with the Special Edition release onto DVD incorporating elements from Episode 1-3 (most infamously being young ghost Hayden Christensen joining ghost Yoda and old ghost Obi-Wan, replacing original old ghost Anakin). So now, for the third time, we have more improvements to Lucas' supposedly already improved vision of the movies.

The new changes are rolling out at a steady pace, but I'm going to just focus on the first four. The last one being a fucking game changer. Last straw. I'm talking "Someone needs to get Star Wars away from this guy! Now!"

1) Episode I - CGI Yoda replaces Puppet Yoda

This change doesn't affect me that much. Visually, it may even be for the better. The Episode I Yoda puppet was fucking horrible. I could understand reasons for why they couldn't use the original Yoda puppet from the Empire and Jedi. It probably doesn't exist anymore or in poor shape. What I don't get is why they just didn't make another one that looks just like the original. An argument could be made about aging and the time gap between Episode I and Empire (a gap that seems to fluctuate with every movie). But Yoda was like 900 years old, right? So what's 40-50 years? Comparison between puppet and CGI Yoda here.

Now, if Lucas gets the bold balls to replace puppet Yoda in Empire Strikes Back and Return of the Jedi....then.....by God......then......THEN!


2) A New Hope - New Obi-Wan Krayt Dragon Roar

This the the sound that Obi-Wan makes, that of a Krayt Dragon, I reckon, to scare off the Sand people from Luke. I honestly can't remember what the original sound was, though maybe I would if I heard it. But why change such an insignificant sound? Has this been riding up Lucas' crack for the past 30 years but he didn't have the technology to edited it out till now?

Since I watched the clip and heard the sound, I kept thinking that the new roar sounded familiar. Like I heard it in a song somewhere. Then it hit me! It's the opening "WOOOOO!" from Michael Jackson's "Don't Stop Til You Get Enough". Hot shit! I went straight to youtube to give the clip a listen again and ended up on a remix video of the epiphany I just had. So others have connected that dot as well.

As such, this might be my favorite change. The one that pulls these Star Wars improvements into an alternate reality or, more simply, an alternate outlook. One of humor as oppose to one of facepalm. I'm telling you now. If we're watching a Star Wars Blu-Ray, If we're watching A New Hope, If we watch this scene, I WILL be getting up, singing, and dancing "Don't Stop". I don't care who's there. Your mom. Father. Sister. Daughter. Granny Jo'. I will be grabbing crotch. Notably my own.

3) Return of the Jedi - CGI Ewok Eyes Enable Blinking Action!

Finally, THE major complaint about the Ewoks has been fixed! Now everyone will love them! *sarcasm* I've never once thought about the Ewoks inability to blink. If this change has done anything, it's made this "issue" all the more obvious. Now I won't be able to look at an original Ewok without noticing his non-blink-ing-ness. Or an improved Ewok with his blatant eye blinking!

Stop trying to be real, Ewok! You're a puppet! You have no soul! You're a damned Ewok!

Now the time has come. If you've yet to hear of this change then, please, prepare yourself. Sit down. Relax. Spend some time with your family. Learn of the joys of life and of love. Realize that there is more to life than Star Wars. I beg you. Cause if you fail to, then this is one giant leap to going over the edge.

Ready?


4) Return of the Jedi - Darth Vader Says "NOOOoooooo!" Twice!

The biggest joke of the prequel Star Wars is the end of Revenge of the Sith. Vader finally shows up. The moment we've all been waiting years for. And Vader goes, "NOOOooooo!" I can't think of another character that has been so completely ruined with one word. One exclamation!

I don't know what bubble Lucas lives in, but it must be of extra durable strength as I would have to assume (there's that word again!) he's not heard any "NOOOoooo!" jokes. Or the dude's just insane. He's taken the "NOOOooooo!" and added it TWICE! to the climax of Return of the Jedi, my personal favorite Star Wars movie.

It's a showdown between Light and Dark. Father and Son. The fate of the galaxy is in their hands. And they engage in an epic battle of greens, reds, and blacks. Of misguided ideals. And of rage-induced beat downs. Outside of Yoda scenes, it's my favorite scene of any Star Wars. Hell, it's THE scene of Star Wars. Then the Emperor begins to torture Luke with force lightening. Vader watches. Silent, yet obviously conflicted. John Williams music ringing in our ears. Then Vader acts. Not for himself. Or even the galaxy. But for his son. And then the Ewoks sing some "Yub Nub". The End.

The improved version? Blah Blah Blah. Epic Battle. Greens. THE. Blah. Emperor tortures Luke with force lightening. Vader watches. Conflicted. BUT NOT SILENT! He says loudly to himself, "Nooooooooo". The Emperor, too busy re-living that time he made Sam Jackson look like a bitch, fails to hear. Vader then makes his presence and feelings known by yelling "NOOOooooooo!" as he picks up the Emperor and throws him into that bottomless space station pit thingy.

It's takes a dramatic high point of the series and gives it the feel of a man-child raging that mommy took his video game. It's sad. It's cringe-inducing. It's "Damn, Lucas". It's How can you be this unaware of what you're doing?! This is bad. Real bad. How can you take something that's been a joke since Episode III, 6 years ago, and apply it to the major battle/turning point of the entire saga?!

And there are more changes. Hopefully nothing as major as this one but there are more.

And, with that, I'm done with Star Wars bitch ranting. It'll be fun to one day go back and look at all the changes, but I'm done complaining/bitching about Star Wars from this point forward. I'm gonna choose to have more fun with it, cause, at this point, it's all starting to feel like trolling the fanbase on the part of Lucas.

That's why, for the past 2 years, I've been riding dat Star Trek jeep, baby! Engage!

Round-Table: Spielberg

Two ideas have been wandering around in my head for a while. One was Spielberg-based. Favorite movie. Worst movie. Progression. The other idea was a series of "roundtable" conversation dealing with various topics. The topic and info in the post. Conversation in the comments. That's the best implementation I've got of a roundtable in blog-form (will take better suggestions).

So why not smang them together?!

For our first Roundtable, Steven Spielberg. *applause* I was going to keep the topic directed at the question of "What is Spielberg's Worst Movie?", but let's open that up a bit. Our primary question will still remain the subject of his worst movie. Once we've tackled that, let's venture into relating questions. Favorite movie? Liked/disliked characters? Etc. Any thought, questions, statements related to the topic (Spielberg), throw 'em in there.

Info:

Rotten Tomatoes seems to be the movie rating standard, so you can find a list of Spielberg's work here. Be careful of his credit listings. There's no filter, so don't mistake Spielberg for the director of "The Legend of Zorro".

Imdb provides a more manageable list of director duties here minus the ratings.

Note: Spielberg is not the [official] director of 1982's Poltergeist and 1985's The Goonies, though often confused as such. Unofficially, Spielberg was heavily involved in both movies. For The Goonies, Spielberg worked very close with Richard Donner and the cast. His influence was there, but Donner was not usurped. Things were not so smooth for Poltergeist. Though Texas Chainsaw Massacre's Tobe Hooper is officially credited as director, many involved with the movie cite Spielberg as the real director. You can read that tidbit here.

RE: Rise of the Apes!

Reading your thoughts, Ryan and Katy, I've been trying to figure out my expectant followup comment. Obviously from my FB message, I liked Rise of the Apes. A lot. I would even go so far as to call it my "Movie of the Year" thus far (previously was Rango). As a Planet of the Apes series fan, thanks to many replays on 90’s TBS, my favorite one was always "Conquest of the Planet of the Apes". If not known, Rise of the Apes is a remake/reimagining of the 1972 movie that had Roddy McDowall as Caesar. I say this because the few reviews I’ve read reference the original Heston movie and liken Rise as a reboot/prequel to it.

Conquest hasn't aged very well. There's some things in the movie that are damn hokey (training apes to get accustomed to serving tables in a disco club setting completely with strobe lights and funky music), but the under/over-tones can save it for a patient viewer. Racism. Slavery. Torture. When the revolution comes, it is swift and violent (gore, if any, is understated). Many humans are beaten to death with blunt weapons. Many apes guned down. It all ends with Caesar giving a hated-filled speech in front of his fellow apes and their sole prisoner, the head of "Ape Management". Caesar declares a new world. A better world. "And that day is upon you NOW!" With that, the apes beat their prisoner to death with the butt of their rifles. I should note here there's an issue with that ending, but that's for another time.

Overall, Rise of the Apes gave me close to what I wanted from a remake of Conquest. More time was devoted to Caesar. We saw his "fall" as he realized he was not a man but an ape. Worse that he had the knowledge of such. Finally, we get a movie that, first, proves that a special effects character can be a proper lead in a live-action movie (as oppose to Bay's Transformers movies not actually being Transformers movies) and, second, that much can be done by actions with little or no words and still be effective, if not much more.

For both of your disappointments in Rise, I don't wish to go down the point/counter-point road. Though I really enjoyed the movie, I don't see you both as completely wrong, nor I completely right.

The thing that stuck out to me about the mom chimp wasn't that the science dudes were unaware of the pregnancy. As far as I know, chimps don’t physically show much if at all. Though that would leave blood testing up in the air and I would assume that would show a pregnancy, if their tests displayed the proper indicators. What I noticed afterwards was that the mom defended her child.....by leaving him. But the mother, no matter how smart she may have gotten, was still a wild chimp in an unfamiliar/human environment. The overprotective rage could have blinded her and pushed her further away from her cage/baby with every human she encountered.

Likewise, I took no notice of the riot police order for safeties off. It was my understanding that, in an organized armed unit, it is the commanding officer who gives the order to go “live”, even more so in a fragile situation like the one on the Golden Gate Bridge with a mix of friendlies and targets. As the apes took the bridge, the people were spilt between those who remained in their cars (city side) and those already out and running from the apes in towards the redwoods. With humans on the battlefield and heading towards armed police, I would think it mandatory for the unit to have safeties on till people were cleared and the “go live” order given.

I found the film to be very violent. The actions of the apes toward each other and, later, humans were realistic to what I’ve seen of primates on Animal Planet and youtube. The attacks were unsettling on a primal level. That in mind, it was obvious that there was a lack in realism as far as the consequences of these ape attacks. Caesar attacked the pilot and bit his finger. Tommy and I assumed he bit the finger clean off, as chimps are prone to do. Nope, the guy later had his finger in a splint. In the case of the mauling/beatings (the pilot, the not-Draco ape worker), both were stopped fairly quickly. The lack of consequence could be explained away by Caesar holding both himself and the other apes back. Caesar seems to understand the importance of life and the severity of taking it away. As much as he hated Draco, his death was accidental. Caesar wanted to repay Draco for the fire hose attack, but wasn’t aware of the electrocution hazard that Draco’s cattle prod. Of course that changed with the death of Buck the Gorilla (damn humans!) causing Caesar to purposely allow the death of Money-Hungry Corp Head.

I do strongly agree that I was expecting, and would have liked to see, more violent results, be it straight up gore or implied. These are apes. Apes are fucking insane. They tear off dicks and wear them as [white] hats. Same for the police, minus the dick hats (hopefully). But I can see and understand the possible reasons why the powers-that-be distanced the movie from this (PETA, lady disfigured by chimp, likely adapted sequel storyline from Battle for the Planet of the Apes, PG-13 =mo’money, yo!).

Turns out Super 8 is my annual “Movie I’ve been interested in seeing for a while but forgot to actually go watch it”. I’m getting better as last year had too many winners.

As for the characters, writing, and such, my guess is that we are approaching the film from different directions. We all like bad movies, but I assume you both are probably much more selective of movies watched overall while I am a bit more open (I don’t do anal, sorry). My point that maybe I’m a bit more…uhh…..aware (though there’s a better word out there) of just how low movies can go in the writing/characters department. Best recent example: Transformers 3. Tommy still enjoyed it, but admits its problems. Also, Sucker Punch. Not even Tommy can say shit for that movie other than the chicks were hot (which is true). As you can see, Tommy is my measurement of how bad a movie is. I can’t trust my own feelings. That would be biased, right? Anyway, that’s my guess. That I see it as above standard fare while you guys see it as below and made worse due to the rule of cool. I would agree that all human characters are simple, but I wouldn’t personally call them terrible (except for the cliché drunk teenagers looking for fun in a damn ape sanctuary!). Each one served their purpose in the story. I thought the James Franco/John Lithgow dynamic quite reflective of my own relationship with my Alzheimer’s-afflicted granddad.

The GF’s singular line about some things not meant to be changed was a bit shallow, I’ll agree, but, eh, I’ve had worse. “Kiss me, Neo”.

Sorry you guys didn’t like it, especially since I “highly recommended” it. But, hey, seeing as how the movie has already almost made back its budget, we’re likely for a sequel! You guys ready for Rise of the Apes 2: Rise Harder?

Oh and Katy, you know your awareness of ape balls, or lack thereof, is gonna be a thing, right?

Movie Review: Rise of the Planet of the Apes

As you know, Stirling, I was excited about this movie. I thought that a summer blockbuster about biotechnology would be a lot of fun. Katy was skeptical. And it turns out that she was right to be. Here's why:

It was sooo unrealistic, even allowing for the silliness of the premise. So I'm supposed to believe that at a laboratory in which they test gene therapies on chimpanzees, a laboratory that ostensibly employs experts on chimp physiology, nobody noticed that one of the new arrivals was pregnant? Sorry, no. I'm supposed to believe that a phalanx of riot police, with their rifles at the ready, has to be reminded by their superior to take the safeties off? Nope. I'm supposed to believe that an animal trainer who is beaten for a considerable period of time by a several mature chimpanzees is going to be in any condition to explain what happened the next morning? Again, no. He'd have been lucky to have survived that attack at all; at a minimum, his injuries would have been traumatic. But that brings us to the next problem.

I wanted it to be sort of gory and scary, but the violence never rose beyond the level of the cartoonish. This was a movie that just couldn't deal maturely with the violence at its core. There were several instances in this movie in which the victim of chimp-violence ought to have been, by all rights, a bloody mess. (If a chimp starts wailing on you like that, you ought to thank your lucky stars if your most notable injury derives from a bite to your finger). At least in part, the movie's squeamishness about treating this violence seriously has to be related to its depiction of the apes as unambiguous white-hats. If you start showing what really happens when people get attacked by chimpanzees, the audience might lose its warm, fuzzy feelings for our heroes. Me though, I like an ambiguous hero. I come to the cinema in hopes of experiencing complicated emotions. I prefer to be confronted by the ramifications of the real excesses of the side I'm rooting for. Rise of the Planet of the Apes lacks the moral backbone to even confront its own premise.

Another contributing factor to the film's squeamishness must have been its PG-13 rating. I need to learn not to go see PG-13 films, no matter how interesting they look like they might be. Rarely, something like Super 8 comes along, but most of the time, you just get action movies that privilege visual effects over versimilitude and emotional resonance.

Also related to my complaint of cartoonishess, Katy notes that in the course of the film, although we see many chimpanzees from many angles, standing, sitting, running, whatever, we never see any ape genitals. This, if you've ever seen a chimpanzee, is a LARGE omission. See right. This isn't really a complaint. But once you notice what the movie is NOT showing you, you kind of have to laugh about it.

The characters, the writing, and (maybe) the acting were all terrible. Rise of the Planet of the Apes is inhabited by the dullest, flattest characters that I've seen in a movie in a long time. Let's play a game where we try to sum up all of the main human characters in one word each. This is like shooting fish in a barrel:

• Will: self-absorbed
• Will's girlfriend: pretty
• Will's dad: old
• Will's boss: bastard
• Will's neighbor: jerk
• Lab chimp expert: bearded
• Chimp shelter owner: amoral
• Chimp shelter handler no. 1: sadist
• Chimp shelter handler no. 2: stutters

There. That's everything you need to know about the human characters in Rise of the Planet of the Apes, and you didn't even have to spend $7.50 and waste two hours of your life. The writing is just as bad. I think that the acting was pretty lousy too, but it was hard to tell. I mean, what were they supposed to do with those lines? "Will, you have to learn that there are some things that aren't meant to be changed." Seriously, that's the line that's supposed to fire up the protagonist to to re-examine his life's work? It's the turning point of the film! The big moment when Will realizes something about himself upon finally, irrevocably losing his father. And that's the best the screenwriter could do? It's so derivative! It's like the mad scientist version of "You just don't get it, do you?" If you're writing a screenplay, and you see this line in it, write harder! Say something interesting—anything interesting—instead! Ugh, my head hurts. I have to go soon.

In light of all this, it's almost irritating how good a job the director and Andy Serkis do in bringing the character of Caesar to life in mostly wordless scenes. Caesar is a compelling character. If this was the best script they could come up with, they should have striven harder for wordlessness.

Nightmares and Dreamscapes

Man. Amazing, or annoying really, just how much a nightmare can set you back. Make you feel as if you haven't progressed at all these past 3 months. Feel like a child.

Then left wide awake at 4:30 am. Wanting to go back to sleep, but can't. Trying to empty your mind, but can't.

Can't we go back to the asskicking Transformers/Kyndal dream?!

You Know What's Bullshit? - Coming to An Exercise Class and Not Exercising

There's a list of things about teaching/leading an exercise class that grabs my goat. Right up there at the very top is people coming to class and NOT exercising.

What the hell?! We're not kids forced to go to math class. We're adults. The class is optional. Everyone is there because, supposedly, everyone wants to be there.But then, every once in a while, I'll get someone who comes, pulls up a yoga mat, and does nothing. [Bull] squat!

Several months back, a woman of 30-something years came to class. She's friends with 2 of my regulars. While I conducted a special 1 hour 30 minute Yoga X class, she sat on her mat. Texting. Talking to her friends in class. Annoyed the shit out of me. So I directed my wit and tongue at her several times throughout the workout. It was a light tone. Humorous. People laughed. No feelings were hurt but my point was made. Why come then sit and do nothing?

This happened again today with one of my regulars, a cute, yet married, girl. She wasn't "in the mood" yet she came to class. While others lunged, did squats, and boxed the air, she sat on her mat. Other times she laid down. All times doing nothing. I again made light of the situation. At one point, I announced that we were going to lunge "that way" past [Name Withheld] then we'd turn around and lunge back past [Name Withheld] again. "This is a two [Name Withheld] exercise!" Creating a new unit of measurement, a [Name Withheld].

Worse, both women want to lose weight. But they don't put in the work to do so. At least one does come to class. The other seems to expend too much time and energy in trying to find ways to lose weight by doing as little as possible. Read: Irony.

P90X - How It's Done

Is it really that bad? No, not really.


When hearing of P90X, it's usually about just how tough it is. Impossible. Many people start, No one finishes. Really, though, it's just a workout. But it can be tough. It certainly can be impossible, if you approach it at face value and don't listen to the instructions or yourself. I've personally experienced how boneheaded people can be with this workout. They didn't listen to the instructions. They didn't listen to me. And they didn't listen to their body. They finished the routine. It was only a 15 minute ab [ripper] workout. But they killed themselves, have yet to return (over a month back), and I'd bet they aren't working out anywhere else.


So I thought I'd share some "tips" for tackling P90X. Advice that should transform this mythical monster into something a bit more...manageable.


Do every routine, even the ones you hate. For me, the worst workouts are the ones I've never done before. I don't know what's coming. I'm willing to jump over the obstacles, but I need to know what they are. There's nothing harder than not knowing what's up next or when it'll end. So you take the "new" away from the workout. Do each one as it turns up in the rotation. Make each one old hat. "Yeah, it sucks, but I've done it like 8 times already. So what's another one." I hate plyo. Well, just dislike, really. But I do it. I get it over with. And then I see that fucker again next week.


Do what you can. I can't do every exercise in P90X. I can't do as many reps as they do in P90X. I do what I can. If the people on the tape are doing 30 reps of something (and they do) and you can only do 4, 8, or 10 or whatever. It's ok. They are pushing themselves. You're pushing yourself. It doesn't matter the number as long as that number is bringing you to the limit [for that set].


Be a 60 minute man. Most routines are an hour long. Tailor yourself to last the entire workout. You may can do 30 push ups. Once. Maybe even twice. But you've still got arms, back, legs, whatever. Dominating the first 10 minutes of a workout doesn't mean squat if you can't bring it the following 50 minutes. These are one hour workouts. You finish the hour workout. If that only means 4 reps here. 10 reps there. Doesn't matter. In the end, you'll have done more reps than the guy who goes balls to the wall and burns out after 10 minutes. Pace yourself. Probably the most important piece of advice and the biggest error most people make.


Food. Water is important during the workout. I take in water after every 6 exercises, when given a water break, and/or when needed. You're sweating. Losing water. Replace it. Usually you'll hear to take small sips. Not to gulp. If that works for you, fine. Me, personally, I gulp that noise down. 3 or 4 gulps even. I don't get sick and puke so I'm not worried about taking in too much water at once. Afterwards, eat something. Anything. Usually being away from home, I'll having some type of bar with me. Likely a Fiber One knock off. Your body is looking for energy after a hard workout. Give it some.


Simple to do at home. Equipment is minimal. A chair. A pull up bar that you stick in a doorway. Some hand weights. I have 30 & 25 lb dumbbells, 20 lb kettlebells, and 8 & 6 lb handled medicine balls. Can I lift more than then the heaviest weight I've got? Yeah. But these do more than the trick when you've got a lot of reps to get through.


Shit, I had more. But I seem to have forgotten.


P90X isn't impossible. I wouldn't even call it "hard". You can get through it. Take each exercise one at a time. Do the reps. Take a breath. Move on to the next. It's tough, but manageable.

RE: Running

To improve running, I'd focus on the legs (obviously) and core.

For legs,

1. Calf strength is very important and the primary force propelling you forward when running. Calf raises are the go-to exercise. You can do them simply on the floor or from the edge of an elevated platform (like stairs) for added range of motion. Hold weight for increased difficulty. Note: I would not recommend holding weights while doing calf raises off the edge of something.




2. Tip toe exercises are another good way to focus on the calves. Tip toe/Sneaky lunges are great. You stand on your toes and deep lunge forward (back leg straight, front leg's knee over the ankle, & try to step forward as far as you can). Hold the tip toe lunge for a few seconds. Then bring your back leg forward back to starting position and repeat. Find yourself a fairly large area to do this. I workout in a large room and lunge from once side to the other. Ideally, you could do this on your walking path. Just set a distance for yourself. Doing the lunges while remaining on your toes the entire time may be hard at first, depending on your balance and leg strength, but gets easier with practise as most things tend to do. Another good one is Gap Jump or Monster Truck Tires. Just pretend there's large tires on the ground and you're jumping from and landing on your toes from the center of each imaginary tire.
   




3. Squats are good. Aside from the normal ones, there's Goblet Squats where you hold a weight in your hand while squatting. Deep/Floor Touch Squats (no vid?!) where the feet are pointed slightly outward and you squat down as low as you can and/or touch the floor with hands then squat back up. Two one-legged squat variations with [Super] Skater Squats and Dead lift Squat. Oh and then there's the Wall Squat. If you're feeling froggy, there's One Leg Wall Squat.
   




4. Lunges can be done with body weight or added weights. Besides tip toe, there's three way lunges.

Core, I would suggest Wide leg Situps (you can cross legs indian style to make harder) & Pulse Ups (don't rock the legs back and forth as much as the guy in the vid does, should mostly be an up&down movement).

I recommend watching these videos and grabbing various exercises from it. Ab Ripper X Part 1 and Part 2. Legs and Back. Plyometrics (sorry, this is the best vid I could find of it).

I'll post about P90X sometime this weekend.

Running

Stirling,

I'm glad you brought up health. That's actually a pretty fortuitous topic for me right now, because I've just started a new workout regimen this past month. And actually, I've been wanting to write about it, but always had something else I'd rather focus on. Your question brings my workout to the front of my writing queue.

My weight was around 170, which could potentially be a pretty healthy weight for me if it was lean mass, but mostly it wasn't. So in mid-June I took up walking, with a view to intersperse some running as my heart, lungs, and legs got stronger. There's a five-mile bike/running path that runs from a park just across the highway in front of my apartment, along the river, all the way to downtown. I started out just walking the two miles north, and turning around and walking the two miles back, which takes me about an hour. It's about 100 degrees out there, and humid, so it isn't exactly a picnic. I've added a little more running over the ensuing weeks. Now I walk the first two miles, turn around and walk back a mile, then run three-quarters of a mile, and walk the last quarter-mile back as a cool-down. I do this every weekday, weather-permitting, but I've only been out one time this week; the skies have been threatening rain, though they haven't delivered.

I've dropped five pounds, which is nice. I find that I have to drink a lot more water during the days. But I also find that I'm less hungry after a long cardio workout than I was before.

A few observations about my workouts:

1. I never would have guessed just how much of an effect the sun and wind would have on my body while working out. My first two miles are northward—generally into the sun and with my back to the wind. When I was first starting out, I would be completely beat at the end of the first two miles (I've gotten better since then). But within a few minutes of turning around so that I face away from the sun and into the wind, I feel better in almost every way. My muscles loosen up. I sweat less. Before I added any running to my workout, I typically felt more exhausted at the end of two miles than I did at the end of four!
2. The psychological impact that running is having on my life is at least as important to me as the physical. I hadn't really expected that. But I find that being alone in the sweltering, unfriendly elements for an hour, getting sweaty, not talking to anybody, not thinking about much of anything, doing something for myself—something that matters, really, not at all to anyone else in the world but me—is hugely liberating. And at the end, when I've run the distance I told myself I would, there's not only the sense of accomplishment, which can be pretty easily described, but there's also the endorphine high, which feels good, but not in any way that I could put into words. It's become something I look forward to when I'm at work, specifically as a way to disconnect from work.
3. So far, running doesn't seem to have made my legs any stronger. This came as a surprise to me, though probably not to you, given your background, Stirling. In the beginning, I had some muscle aches in my calves, but those have gone away pretty much entirely. Since then, any discomfort has been knee- or ankle-related, in which case I take it easy for a few days and start back up when they feel solid again. But since my calves and thighs weren't aching, I figured they must be stronger than they used to be. So a few nights ago, when the weather was being uncooperative, I decided to test this out by doing some squats. And the squats were just as difficult as they've always been! Furthermore, in the morning, my thighs ached like a motherfucker! The remedy for this, of course, at least short-term, was more running, which loosened up those muscles again. My heart and lungs are almost certainly as strong and healthy as they've been in years, but it's clear that if I'm going to strengthen my legs, I'm going to have to focus on resistance training as well.

I'm certain that you could have told me all of this and more if I'd just seen fit to ask you. Anything else I ought to think about for the kinds of workout I'm engaging in?

I'm interested to hear about p90x, which is something I keep hearing about, but about which I know literally nothing. Looking forward to getting an explanation.

Welcome Back! How's Your Health?

Risen from the dead like a zombie that creeps Dennis Hopper the fuck out! And we'll start things real easy-like with a simple question, How's your health? What are you doing? What do you feel you should be doing? Goals? Wants? Whatev!

Me, I've spent the last two years going up and down the weight scale. 2009/Tampa saw me drop to 180 lbs thanks to wrestling in a hot warehouse. Post-Tampa, I gained weight up to 215 lbs. That was a mixture of weight-lifting and eating whatever the hell I wanted. September 2010, I then transitioned to a mostly yoga regimen which saw me drop from 215 back down to 180. I think maybe I was eating a little better (not that I ever really ate "bad"). So hey! Yoga does work. The biggest benefit from yoga has been flexibility getting into the poses and strength in holding them. I can bend forward, keep straight legs, and palm the floor. Being a guy, pretty damn impressive. Feels really great. I can move around and quickly switch between positions with ease. I use to hate stretching, but I have come to terms with it. Even enjoy it a little bit now that I can see the results.

This is what I love about having a job that deals with exercise. The thought of working out 3 or 4 hours a day is much easier and manageable when it's your job and you get paid to do it. I lead them through a workout but it's mine as well. I am my best student.

Currently, I do find myself working out 4 hours on any given day as I've thrown P90X routines into my schedule. On afternoons, I have an hour gap between my two classes. Usually, I devoted that time to power naps on a really crappy-looking yet oh-so-comfortable sofa in a room across the hall. Thanks to events with Kyndal, I found myself needing to do something. To keep my mind busy. What happened was sad and I was tired of feeling sad about it. Tired of thinking about it. So I "obtained" P90X dvds and did them between classes. I usually have a guy (50's, great shape, weight lifter, ex-HS wrestler/football player, ex-cop now engineer) from my later class join me as well.

Each routine is an hour or less. Includes warm up, main exercises, and cool down. Workouts include Chest & Back, Shoulder & Arms, Legs & Back, Kenpo (punck, kick, HA!), Plyo (jumping), Yoga, Cardio, Stretch, Chest-Shoulders-Triceps, and Back & Biceps.

I'll try to save my thoughts on P90X for another post, but, honestly, it's not that bad. If you keep certain rules in mind and use your head while working through them. And it does work. There are results. Not the extreme 3 month results that advertisements would suggest. Though I'm not sticking to the P90X nutrition plan, but following my own rules. Proper portion sizes. Lean meats (turkey, grilled chicken). Try to avoid beef and fried crap. Increase protein intake.

With the P90X & yoga mix, I'm stronger. Leaner. Up to 190 lbs. More flexible. Doing more push ups, pull ups, curls, presses, lunges, etc. So what are you guys doing? Give me the details. Tell me how it's going. How you feel. Goals.